Coping with loneliness during holiday season

By Dawn Thomas

For many, remembering loved ones we have lost, longing for family living away and missing traditions from days gone by only add to our loneliness.

Our roles in the family and community change as we age. Some people have a more difficult time adjusting to this. Putting pressure on yourself to keep up with what you once did may only add to the disappointment you will experience during the holidays. Keep this in mind while planning activities.

There are some strategies that may help get you through this season. You need to know that is okay to feel lonely and sad. You need to cope in a way that works for you. For some, this might mean keeping very busy and getting involved in many activities. For others, it may mean being okay with doing less.

Lower your expectations on yourself and do not get caught up in the ‘shoulds’ that others might advise. It is up to you to determine what is important and what works for you.

Recent loss of a spouse, parent or child will mean beginning new traditions this Christmas. There is a huge void already, and now this joyful season contradicts what you are actually feeling. There is no help put up the tree, only one signature on the Christmas cards and an empty spot at the Christmas dinner.

Do what feels good to you at this time. Visit the cemetery with a special Christmas arrangement. Write a letter to your loved one, find comfort in your faith, keep a journal, create a photo album and find ways to enjoy creating new memories and new traditions. Focus on happy memories and remember it is okay to cry.

Contact someone who has also gone through recent loss and share with one another. Surround yourself with people who make you feel better, not those who you find draining.

Remember, there is no rule that states you even need to celebrate Christmas.

Tell your family and friends how you are feeling, though and accept their help. Be mindful that loneliness can easily lead to depression. Be good to yourself. Listen to music that encourages you. Enjoy a good dose of fun. Do not allow negative thoughts to affect your self-esteem. Talk to others and take action.

Nothing in your life will change by just sitting and longing for others to come to you. Take the initiative, invite someone over, call an old friend, create a new tradition, and perhaps donate your time by volunteering.

Dawn Thomas is seniors’ safety coordinator for the Town and Municipality of Digby