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Never call the teacher a giraffe

Article online since July 10th 2008, 16:34
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Never call the teacher a giraffe
Let’s face it! School these days just isn’t like it was in the 1940s and ‘50s. Back then it was a different world altogether.

First of all, we walked to school no matter the weather. Some lived two miles away and when we did something wrong we were taught the difference between right or wrong by the hickory stick application. The hickory stick was often spruce, if I remember correctly. Walking to schools kept us healthy, sure; we had colds, but most allergies and healthy eating habits were still years in the future.

Teachers were overworked and underpaid, few could afford a car and they also walked to school as well. Some teachers, as I recall, rode their bicycle to and from school.

For many of the smaller grades our teacher was Celestine d’Entremont, a distant relative. Long and lean, she was an exact copy of “Miss Grundy” in the Archie Comics that were popular during those days.

She had been born in 1905 and had been my father’s teacher in the 1920s. In its own way, I suppose our school set-up was comparable to Riverdale High, as featured in those comic books of long ago.

Besides Miss Geraldine Grundy, some of the comic book main characters were the Principal, Mr. Weatherbee, Archie Andrews, Moose Mason, Forsythe “Jughead” Jones, Betty Cooper, Veronica Lodge and Reggie Mantle. There may have been others.

Our “Miss Grundy”, Celestine, was a longtime … more like forever … teacher and could be excused if her patience was running a bit low, having to teach four grades with about 30 students in the same room.



Trudged to class each day

Unmarried, Celestine lived at the old homestead and trudged to class each day, a 20-minute walk. She ate her noontime meal with her aunt, a retired schoolteacher living next door to the school. Our teacher was supposed to have a secret crush on my grand uncle Charles, known as “Ti-Charles”, (or Charlie Muir), who was then widowed for the second time.

Late one afternoon, while the cleaning lady was at work in the next classroom, Celestine was telling us of her travel plans for the coming summer vacation; nothing less than a trip to Boston, seeing the world, the Empire State building. About then, the cleaning woman, who was perhaps thought of as a few pickles shy of a full barrel, stuck her head through the open door and blurted out: “ Are you taking Ti-Charles with you?”

The whole class howled with laughter, but not the teacher, who saw no humour at all in that line.

‘What did Tommy say?’

One day, while Celestine was erasing the top of the blackboard and looking 10 feet tall, Little Tommy (name changed to protect the guilty), who was not little after taking eight years to reach Grade 4, whispered, “she looks like a giraffe.”

Celestine, who could hear a pin drop 10 miles away, inquired, “What did Tommy say?”

A little girl, itching to be on the teacher’s good side, told her that Tommy had made the giraffe comparison.

It was instant madness on the part our teacher, who was already in a bad mood. This was poor timing for Tommy. Just the day before the teacher had heard her niece whisper, “I would laugh if Aunt Celestine’s panties could fall to her ankles,” which was not appreciated by her aunt.

Teacher Celestine climbed on her “high horse” or rather high giraffe in this case, and her tone of voice could have melted a stainless steel anvil.

She told of all the times she had helped Tommy’s family when they needed help. As a relative, she had made chicken noodle soup for them when they were sick. Had helped his mother when Tommy had been born. She had washed clothes for the family and bought new diapers and such for them from the William B. Store.

There was no end to her lecture. She was hitting where it hurt the most … below the belt … and tears were flowing from Little Tommy. I felt sorry for him, yet he deserved it.

That was Grade 4 of more than half a lifetime away. Time flies too fast. Few of us who were in Grade 4 that year ended up with our PhD…none, at last count. However, if we learned anything that year it was this…you just cannot call the teacher a giraffe and get away with it!

laudent@hotmail.com

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