Combating loneliness in seniors

Some of us have spent the month of February recognizing Healthy Heart Month by making changes in our diets, vowing to exercise more, getting blood levels tested or reading on the issues surrounding heart disease.

But there is another very serious form of heartache that many of our community seniors are living everyday. It is not one that we talk about nearly enough. It is loneliness.

Human beings tend to be social in nature, but for seniors, our social networks change over time. Children move on to other places, spouses and friends become ill and pass away, retirement may change our attitudes about contribution to the community and change our purpose, sensory loss and illness or disability prevent confidence and accessibility and mean an increase in dependence on others.

There is a difference in being alone and being lonely. You can be alone and not be lonely. You can be surrounded with several people a day and still experience loneliness. It is about feeling a connection to people that your spirit needs.

It seems bleak at times. We like to blame others. If only they would come around or call more often. We can let our mind and thoughts get the better of us, and we assume excuses that do not exist. Getting into a ‘nobody loves me’ frame of mind that can fragment our spirits. Being physically limited and dependent adds to the frustration.

So what do we do? Make sure you get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise. Increase your pleasant activity intake each day. Do things that make you happy. Look good. Take pride in your appearance. You deserve to feel good about yourself.

Talk with positive, optimistic people who boost your esteem. Value a connected friendship. Nurture relationship with families and friends. The easiest way to do this is by telephone and letter writing.

Consider volunteering, join a group and get involved. This could be through your church, a local card party or fitness sessions. Invite some friends over for tea. Set a date, don’t leave it open.

Reach out to others in your community who may need a friend. If you like animals, get a pet. They are not only great company, but a sense of purpose and a distraction.

Look into housing options that allow more contact with others. Find your own sense of meaning. We all have one. This might be through spirituality or working towards a cause that is important to you. Keep you mind active and in touch with others and your community. Make it your mission to regain control.

Ask for help when you need it. Even though you don’t want to be a burden, asking for help keeps you in control of what you need.

Be sure to talk about your sadness with your doctor. You wouldn’t refuse help for a broken leg, don*t refuse help for depression and sadness.



(Dawn Thomas is a Seniors’ Safety Coordinator. She can be contacted at 245-2579 or by emailing dawn.thomas@rcmp-grc.gc.ca.)