Solemn Season

By Patty Mintz

The Advertiser

NovaNewsNow.com



A pump that delivers pain medication is Steve McCulley’s constant companion as he faces each day with pancreatic cancer, one of the deadliest forms of cancer.

Steve has ‘good’ days – days that allow him to drive short distances and to eat and move about his home in relative comfort – but today isn’t one of them. It is lunchtime at his home in Steam Mill, but Steve lies huddled on the couch unable to eat. He looks weak, pale and thin, as is expected when a man has an inoperable tumour.

Steve began to feel unwell a year ago this fall.

“I kept going to my doctor and saying, ‘something’s not right. I don’t feel right’,� but he says the doctor believed his complaints were tied to scoliosis, a pre-existing condition. By April, though, his health had deteriorated drastically. “I had to stop working and the pain in my back and stomach was so bad I couldn’t eat.� Over time he lost 42 pounds, dropping from his normal weight of 165 lbs. to a rail-thin 123.

“I lived with it like that until June,� he says. Then jaundice set in, turning his skin yellow and his urine to the colour of boiled tea.

An emergency CATscan at Valley Regional revealed the cause at last. When the doctor entered the cubicle and gave them the news, says Steve’s wife Mary, “I asked him to leave so we could be alone. We were in shock.�

Eventually, surgery brought more devastating news. “The surgeon said he couldn’t remove the tumour and there was nothing else they could do. He said it was terminal and gave Steve one to three months, but said his guess was one month.�

Five months have passed since the initial diagnoses and the couple celebrate Steve’s continuing survival quietly as Christmas draws near. Their home was dressed for the holidays early. Steve says Mary’s flair for decorating, especially at Christmas, never fails to lift his spirits. Nevertheless, money is tight and they worry about what the future holds for their nine-year-old godchild, Jason, who has lived with them off and on since he was five months old and full-time for the past five years.

Because of Steve’s sickness, plans to adopt the boy are on hold. “This is Jason’s home. It’s the only home that little boy knows,� says Steve.

They also worry about losing that home, an attractive, cozy two-storey.

“We worked hard for this home and we’d like to keep it our home,� says Mary, as she wraps her strong arms around her husband’s bony frame. The house was in rough shape when they bought it. It had been abandoned for years and raccoons had taken over, but the two gutted and renovated the entire structure. Steve, a hobby woodworker, built much of their furniture.

For now, the family survives on a shoestring budget based on monthly income from disability and social services.

Under such circumstances, says Steve, “It doesn’t take long to go through your savings.�

When Steve got sick, the two had to give up their work as distributors of herbs and spices for a Canning-based company.

And because they worked by commission, there is no additional health coverage.

Through their ordeal, the couple prays and continues to attend church each Sunday at Valley Gate Vineyard in Kentville.

“Friends have brought food to us and someone delivered wood to us last night,� Mary says.

“We’re surrounded by positive people,� says Steve. “We have a lot of people who have fasted and prayed for us,� a fact the McCulleys don’t take lightly.

“We are going into the sixth month now,� says Mary. “The way we feel is that on June 30, when the doctor took his hands off this because he said Steve was going to die, we didn’t feel a loss of hope because of God.�

The McCulleys say their hearts go out to others in similar circumstance.

“Palliative care has called a number of times to find out if they should come, but we say no. There are other people out there who need their help now. We don’t at this time.�

That doesn’t mean there aren’t moments of despair.

“Sometimes I’m afraid of it. But I’m not crying to people for anything. I just want people to know there is more hope than what the doctors give you,� says Steve.

“If someone were to read this article I hope and pray, especially if they’ve been diagnosed with cancer, they know they have two choices: you can go home and die or you can fight.�

“And we’re going to fight with everything we have to fight with,� says Mary.

Dr. Catherine McNally, palliative care resource physician for the Annapolis Valley says, in general, patients like the McCulleys who have strong spiritual faith find the realities of terminal illness easier to accept.

“People who are able to hold out hope of God intervening in the present, but who also acknowledge that God may not, (find strength) in hope for a life with God (after death).�

McNally says, in some ways, Steve’s illness has been a source of amazement.

In physical terms, McNally says, “We were not expecting Steve to recover so much of his physical activity. He has done remarkably well. He was very weak after the surgery and in bed much of the time, but he has since been able to remain quite active considering his situation.�

McNally, who is very involved from a pain point of view, says she is in the process of attempting a change from Steve’s cumbersome pump to an oral medication for better pain control and greater mobility.

The bottom line, says McNally, “He’s aware nothing I’m doing will affect the length of his life.�





SIDEBAR:





K: Company lends support



Christmas can be stressful for the healthiest of families. What happens when a family member has been diagnosed with terminal cancer?

“We don’t know what we’re going to do, but we’ll have a Christmas somehow,� said Steve McCulley who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Birgie Guy, a friend of the family and a graphic designer for Transcontinental Media in New Minas, wanted to help make that happen so she organized a united effort involving her co-workers to give the McCulleys a brighter Christmas.

“When I first heard about Steve and Mary’s plight I felt really sorry,� says Guy. “I’ve been in similar situations where I didn’t have a stable income so I could relate to their problem.�

Guy says, like the McCulleys, she believes in the power of prayer, but wanted to do just a little bit more because the family is also in dire need of material support.