Consequences of calendar difficult for children

To the Editor:

I run a licensed preschool in Wolfville and the calendar, “That’s what Men are Made of,� has posed a conflict for me between what we teach the children and what we show them in our actions. We work very hard to provide the children with a loving, safe and stimulating environment and want to help them develop skills and values that will be essential for them in their lives.

The calendar, which I understand is something that is and will be publicly displayed in many of our homes and businesses as it has already been in our area newspaper, contradicts many of these important lessons. In it, leaders of the community make a public display that will be seen by many people, including our children. Perhaps you can help me come up with answers to these contradictory statements.

We tell our children their body is private and publish a calendar with influential people in our community exposing themselves.

We tell our children their body is to be respected and laugh and giggle and joke over the photos showing the bodies of people whom we are supposed to respect.

We tell our children not to share their body with strangers and print a calendar that asks strangers to pay money to see our naked bodies.

We warn our children to be wary of Internet predators and to never undress or comply with their requests. Then we undress and have our photos printed and publicized.

The school board makes rules for how its students are to be properly dressed. Then The Kings County Register arrives at these schools with a prominent politician on the front page, naked.

Our towns, provincial and federal governments have promoted their good intentions and plans for our children.

Our politicians are forgetting that, to a child, the example set by adults speaks louder than their many words. It seems to me we worry about our children being abused and exploited and do not realize that we ourselves have opened up all the safety gates that were in place to protect our children and have forgotten to latch them behind us.

Perhaps I am misinterpreting the calendar. I apologize, yet request the next fundraiser is not open to misinterpretation. Of course, it was done in view of a good cause. This creates another puzzling statement for our children: as long as they do things for a good reason, it does not really matter what they do.

At the preschool, we, too, have taken time to raise money and collect supplies for good causes. The children have done chores for their families, have brought in money from their own piggy banks, have sold lemonade and have given away toys. Each effort was done out of compassion and in view of respecting others as well as ourselves.

You may argue this calendar is not for children. I am glad we at least agree on that. However, it is promoted very publicly and children are quick to see and hear things.

No doubt you have read the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. It was a little child’s honesty that clarified the situation for the many adults in attendance for the unveiling of the Emperor’s new suit. I asked the children a general statement the other day about whether it was okay or not to take off your clothes in front of other people. They were quick to answer: “No, it’s not nice. You should go to jail if you do.� Going to jail may be an overreaction, yet it is an important recognition that exposing one’s self publicly falls into a category that deserves consequences. The consequences will fall somewhere. If we do not take them as the responsible adults in our community, I fear where the consequences of our actions will lead our children.



Sincerely,

Hanneke Bouter,

Wolfville