Duster fluster

In the days when I was driving a 1972 Duster, pretty well coughing along on its last cylinder along Middle Dyke Road, a green car, not looking in much better shape than the Duster, crept up behind me. It was a bright spring morning and I expected the green car to pass me, but what happened was the driver stuck a flashing light on top. This threw me into a panic.

You see, that was not long after I’d heard the warning for the first time. Of course, the warning had more evil atmosphere than what was happening to me – it happened on a starless night on a road that had been paved and then forgotten, somewhere in Cape Breton. Here, the sun was shining and the farms were close together. There was no way that flashing light was going to reveal a vile menace crouching in the back seat of my Duster.

No! Wait! My frenzied mind scrabbled for the right story, which had more to do with the flashing light itself. Anyone could buy one that spring at Canadian Tire, anyone . . . even someone with harmful intent! Someone who was hoping a foolish young woman would pull over to a lonely ditch! I drove as fast as I could to my sister’s house and leaned on the horn. As soon as the car stopped moving I jumped out, but not quickly enough to escape.

“Kind of a nervous Nellie, aren’t you?� asked the police officer as she stood by my car.

As it turned out, I was in more danger of being hauled into court for refusing to pull over than I was from attack.

So when that e-warning (“##" on cellphones) arrived this week, I took the time to check it out a little more thoroughly. The plot has hardly changed. A young woman has been warned never to pull over for an unmarked car until she gets to a safe place. Up comes the car with a flashing light. The new twist is our young heroine has the presence of mind to put on the four-way flashers and call “##� (supposedly, a direct line to police dispatcher), and remains calm as the police surround the following car and take down the convicted criminal.

It’s essential for your pristine criminal record you do something to let the probable police officer know you aren’t running from the law, so punching on the four-ways is a good idea. A cell phone call to 911, that emergency number that works just about everywhere, is definitely on the agenda. Other numbers may work in certain localities, especially where they are posted along the route, but 911 will get you help if you need it.

Take it from me, you’re more likely to be pulled over for a dead taillight than you are for an appointment with death, but you’re worth a little special care, right?

Oh, if you want to test out some more of those e-warnings, e-requests, or e-legends, you might start with www.tafkac.org">www.tafkac.org">www.tafkac.org ">www.tafkac.org>">www.tafkac.org>">www.tafkac.org> or www.truthorfiction.org">www.truthorfiction.org">www.truthorfiction.org ">www.truthorfiction.org>">www.truthorfiction.org>">www.truthorfiction.org> .