Cancer in our lives

My older brother has cancer. Right now he’s getting four weeks of radiation treatment for cancer of the larynx and is talking very positively about going camping this summer. The best news is he has finally quit smoking.

I have a friend who is currently trucking back and forth to Halifax as well for radiation treatment and the husband of another just had prostate surgery. It must be exhausting. Maybe it's my age, but it seems like we all know someone who has the 'c' word in their lives. Dr. Michael Wosnick, executive director of the National Cancer Institute of Canada, who stopped here last fall, says more and more cancer is becoming a chronic disease; something to live with.

A cancer diagnosis must be life-altering in many ways. You have to deal with new, very practical issues, make tough choices and feel waves of emotion.

People cope valiantly. I remember watching my father walk the survivor's lap at the first Relay for Life in Middleton. Knowing that the drug he had to take for leukemia made his skin cancer worse, he seemed such a brave, old soldier.

What can friends do?

What can friends and acquaintances do in the face of a cancer diagnosis? It’s peculiar how we hang back, wanting to help, but we're not sure what to say or how to be useful. My friend's kids immediately set up a blog to update people without endless phone calls. E-mail helps too.

The Staircase Letters by Arthur Motyer, with e-mail input from Elma Gerwin and Carol Shields, details magically everyday life in the shadow of cancer.

Pragmatically, says Diane Sims Roth, writing in Canadian Living, don't hand out the "standard offer, 'if there's anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to give me a call.'" Roth advises drop in for a visit and pick up a broom.

"If it is the little day-to-day crap that piles up until it feels like it is going to consume me, I will probably not ask for your help. But I will be eternally grateful if you just come and do it."

I found an interesting website called Circus of Cancer that lists way of helping friends. For example, you could collect a radiation care package. Apparently, when you start radiation, you should switch to all-natural soaps and deodorants to protect the skin from added irritation. Aloe three times a day also becomes useful for several months.

So a care package is in order, or a journal to write in, or some healthy soup. Helping with drives for treatment spares the family and offers an intimate kind of one-on-one time.

Can’t trust the system

The disturbing news out of Newfoundland in recent weeks about shoddy lab work and how women with cancer were treated has put many on edge. We cannot trust our health system.

The fact that Cancer Care Nova Scotia can trot out a 2007 survey of 2,011 patients who crowed about the quality of their care seems sullied now. What’s more to the point are recently released Canadian Cancer Statistics.

For males, the study estimates a cancer death rate of 245 per 100,000 in Nova Scotia this year, compared to 178 per 100,000 in British Columbia and 209 per 100,000 nationally. For females, the statistical toll is 169 per 100,000 here, compared to 147

per 100,000 nationally.

Of course, compared to British Columbia we have an older population, so the numbers in this province will be weighted. Other lifestyle issues, like weight and lack of exercise, factor in as well.

In my mind, community-based supports are critical. People who've walked the cancer walk know what's needed. For instance, there's the Carey Me charity locally, which has raised over $100,000 in four years for unfunded medications and equipment rental.

Bill Carey was diagnosed with pancreatic/liver cancer in November 2000 and was told he could only expect to live for three to six months. Yet Bill lived a full life until March 2003. His wife Marilynn says it was his family, friends and support from staff at Valley Regional Hospital that enabled his choice to stay home.

Since Bill passed on, Marilynn, her daughter Stephanie and others have been raising funds to support others in similar circumstances.

This year the Wolfville Rotarians are going to direct some of their annual duck race funds toward Carey Me. Meanwhile, volunteers are also busy organizing a Cheese and Quackers evening May 3 in Gaspereau. Marilynn assures me that a portable furnace will keep the barn at the winery quite comfortable while Men Will be Boys play some tunes. Tickets are available at Box of Delights in Wolfville and Chisholm's in Kentville.

The Annapolis Valley Hospice Foundation, which has been so long at its good work, has two enjoyable-sounding fundraising concerts lined up this coming weekend. The Nova Swing Band will perform Friday and Saturday at the Al Whittle Theatre in Wolfville.

All good, cancer-fighting causes. At the very least, take part in these events.