No joke this time around!

April Fool’s Day is Tuesday and most people expect some trick or other. The day’s made for pranksters and punksters, merry souls who revel in the soft bray of a whoopee cushion, fake vomit and dribble cups.

As prolific as the pranks might be, there are other matters of a more serious nature. For some reason, April 1 is the launch date for a bunch of provincial programs and initiatives. Some are wondering, however, and not because of the timing - are they serious?

The first is a ban on all smoking in vehicles where anyone under the age of 19 is present. If a person 19 years of age and under is in a car and you want to light up, fuggedabout it. The law dictates that’s a no-no and if you’re caught contravening the ban, expect a citation and a fine.

I think we can agree that cigarettes pose a potential health hazard and an enclosed space full of smoke is never good for anyone, but I’m also keenly aware of the civil rights issues associated with legislation such as this. Can a person who is of the age of majority be told he or she can’t consume a legal product in the privacy of their own car?

Certainly, there are plenty of other activities prohibited by law, like drinking and driving and not wearing seatbelts to name two, but is this different?

Lawmakers say no. It falls into the category of public and personal safety. Guaranteed smokers say yes.

Also starting today, there’s a ban on hand-held cell phones in cars. Not only can’t you smoke in your vehicle, you can’t yak on the phone, either. People’ll be going nuts and I wonder if the incidence of road rage will see a sharp increase.

Fact is, I’m all for this ban. The numbers of people who drive with one hand and yammer into a cellphone using the other is frightening and the matter of vehicular control is huge.

I was out in a snowstorm this winter and didn’t see much traffic on my way home, but of the few cars about, a handful featured folks talking on a cellphone and trying to negotiate icy roads at the same time!

I suppose they were telling family or friends that it was one hell of storm, but come on! Total attention on the task at hand is essential in conditions like that and I can only imagine how much more uninhibited people get with a cellphone when road conditions are pristine.

I’m not sure those little Lt. Uhura headphone thingies are the answer either because someone’s still talking to you while you’re driving and creating a distraction, but I wish I had shares in the company ‘cause sales are going to skyrocket.

Finally, as of April 1, we have to separate and store garbage in clear bags. I’m struggling with this because no matter which bag I’ve selected so far, I’ve been wrong. “The paper goes here, the tins there,” my wife explains patiently. “Garbage goes in the clear ones.”

It’s going to make a huge difference at waste management centres around the province and will divert literally tons of garbage, but it’s just one more thing to process and I’m feeling a little confused.

I was hoping for something humourous to discuss, but the joke’s on me. This stuff is serious, the penalties are stiff and that’s no laughing matter.

April Fool’s Day indeed!