Time to convert to the neo-Cons

It was Garrison Keiler who said, I believe, that March was God’s way of showing those who don’t drink what a hangover feels like. And gosh knows, March was trying.

As one who is prone to the boom-bust psychological waves of all ex-patriot Albertans, it’s no small wonder that your fearless columnist has decided to move his support to the intelligence, reading capacity, thoughtfulness and downright spunkiness of those pesky neo-cons, in Washington and Ottawa.

Sure the news of late has been discouraging. What with Dubya declaring that the Iraq war will “merit the sacrifice.” Sure Dubya probably doesn’t know that merit can be used as a verb, proving he isn’t even the author of his own phrases anymore.

Sure, as he spoke, the number of troops killed moved over 4000; sure, a fine documentary on the Lehrer News Hour determined the number of maimed and otherwise physically damaged American troops has increased to 60,000; sure the death toll of Iraqis is estimated between 100,000 and 300,000; sure the current direct costs of the war have surpassed $500 billion, and the actual costs of the war, overall, is estimated by experts eventually to be between one and three trillion dollars, even if they pull out soon.

Sure I realized that all this is so, but then I saw Dubya smiling warmly at the kids rolling Easter eggs on the White House lawn, putting his hand on the head of one young lad, and I knew I had made a mistake about him.

What’s not to like, eh? Cripes, he’s just like a fine old uncle, so why not cut him some slack in the political support column?

And soon were going to know for sure who gets to control all those barrels of oil — after, that is, the current upsurge in sectarian warfare is completed and we roll up some of the blood in the sand — and it might be us!

Commissar Flaherty

I know that it’s difficult to make the move to the neo-cons while one of its standardbearers insists on beating up on the government of Ontario. Sure, Jim Flaherty and his buds in the Harris golf-pro-theory-of-government days of the common sense revolution nearly ruined the political economy of Ontario; sure, he’s just doing this ‘cause his Australian and American republican advisers are showing him how to win an election when folks don’t really like your approach to government; sure, his attack on Ontario is mainly to ensure that if the wheels fall off the Ontario manufacturing sector, the blame will fall on Premier McGinty, and not on him, even though his budget did squat to address the downturn; and sure, Flaherty is of the view that the sort of laissez-fare economics and war-spending of the folks in the U.S. is the model we need to embrace, not to mention the fact that increasingly, as he makes his demands upon the government of Ontario, Flaherty is reminiscent of the political style of Soviet Commissars.

But it’s important that we keep our history alive, isn’t it, and doesn’t Flaherty do so much to remind us of politics of the past?

Dion and Layton

Besides, aren’t you too getting just a bit tired of the lack of apparent political savvy of the leaders on the liberal left, what with Dion holding up the work of the Quebec wing of the Party with his desire to place more women in winning ridings and Layton looking like he just swallowed the canary that alerts us to when real trouble is afoot?

Both know that the only hope against the rise of International Neo-Conservativism is either the integration of the left or a move to proportional representation. And Dion, who also knows the positive effect on the election of women and under-represented minorities PR would achieve, still lusts for another majority government for the Liberals, one that would put all those naysayers nipping at his heals to rest.

So you’ll understand why holding out any longer is just not a viable option for those of us who have resisted the Neo-Con Revolution. Time to suck it up and move to where the action is. Does anyone have Stephen Harper’s number?

To conclude this heart-rending, unexpected conversion, let me wish all my friends, from whatever political camp, a Happy April 1st.