Community often provides lifelines

I grew up in the ’60s and ’70s. Like every generation, mine wanted our version of change. We envisioned a kinder gentler world and our music icons gave us our mantras. The lyrics of one of my songs included "no one is an island, no one stands alone, each one’s joy is joy to me each one’s pain is my own."

All too often when we face what we perceive as an insurmountable obstacle or trauma our technological, ever more politically correct world leads us to believe that we are alone and must face our problems in isolation.

But in this community, we have many formal outlets for mutual support. The events column of The Courier lists groups for mental health, chronic pain and anxiety management. These each have a specific focus, but the intent is to ensure those who are struggling with illness are aware have access to others who are dealing with similar circumstances.

Therapist J. Clare Bowen-Davies wrote in the ‘The Healing Tree’ that, “People living in a similar experience need to generate hope for the future, laugh about the ‘black humour’ aspects of their lives, arrange social activities and have fun together. What better group of people than those who walk in the same shoes? And, what better place to make the vital connections for all these kinds of beneficial activities than a support group?”

Yet some feel uncomfortable with aspects of sharing in an open environment when they don’t really know the other people in the group. They feel that reaching out may be interpreted as a demonstration of some weakness or worse, a sign of incompetence. Maintaining this unnecessary facade is not only damaging to the psychological health, it will invariably have an impact on physical health.

So for t hose who are not a ‘group person’ there is much to be gained by creating your own support outlets. By giving of yourself you may find that the returns are far greater than the output.

This is a small community. We often hear or know of someone who has walked a mile in shoes very much like ours. Some 13 years ago, I was alone in my house with a tiny treasure. I told myself I could do this but I was alone and somewhat terrified. There was a knock and the smiling face that greeted me as I opened the door said, “You don’t know me well, but I heard that your Mom can’t come for a bit and I thought you might like company.”

She was a mother, a grandmother and a great-grandmother. Her words of assurance over the next few months were my lifeline. Just before she died, I had an opportunity to thank her. Her response was, “That is what neighbours do.” I think she had a point!