As the stomach turns....

More than a few of you have suggested on my daily walk this week that the news of the past week or so has been closer to a soap opera than the noble conduct of thought and action expected in the public sphere.

Peter MacKay and our current Premier, Rod MacDonald - both suffering from a bad case of Danny envy - have linked arms in two deals that are meant to make us forget the loss of the Accord, which Premier John Hamm negotiated with such care in the interests of all Nova Scotians.

Their first cause for celebration was a side deal they negotiated with Steve (sure, you can trust him) Harper for a deal even better, they say, than the Accord. The only problems, it appears, are that this new deal isn’t in writing or, if it is, it hasn’t yet seen the light of day; it doesn’t do much heavy lifting until after 2015; and it assumes that by then the party in power in Ottawa will still need some seats from our fair province.

Their second cause for self-congratulatory celebration concerned a promise that if we all play nicely together, and presumably vote Conservative next time, some money will be coming from the feds for an Atlantic Gateway, not the least of which may be devoted to the twinning of the highway to Cape Breton. That’ll teach us Valley folk (driving from two to four lanes, to two lanes, to four lanes, and over a dying river) not to support Peter’s nemesis, Scott Brison. Revenge is sweet, eh, guys?

We are but left to ponder in anticipation of the next episode. Will Peter and Rod ever forgive Bill Casey for sticking up for his constituents’ and his Province’s interests? Is Rod really for Bill, not for Bill, or neutral? Isn’t neutral what we do to dogs having difficulty with their manners? And when we’re dreaming, is Bill Casey really the Premier of Nova Scotia?

Drama continues apace

At the federal level, the drama continues apace. Will Dion jump or will he be pushed? Is Iggy really a friend? Is he really capable of friendship, or is it still just all about him? Will the Québec wing of the Liberal party flap until it’s free of all of its feathers?

Will Jack Layton this time cause us to forget that we have the current government we do in part because he wishes to become a leader of the New Liberal Party of Canada? Will he come to his senses?

Will Stéphane Dion have to change the name of his dog? And who calls a dog Kyoto, anyway? Will Kyoto still be welcome in the community of canines with that as his handle? Will Kyoto get even?

Is Steven Harper really a New Man? Was this Speech from the Throne his real agenda, or is he just getting better at hiding it?

Does he still only give his kids a handshake when seeing them off to school? Does he really prefer green or is he still devoted to brown?

Was the Speech from the Thrown the New (lighter version of) Meech and, if so, is the New Meech just a holding pattern while the knives for eviscerating the country are being sharpened? Is Stephen Harper really the sort of guy we would expect to stick to a makeover regimen once he no longer needs it?

Shock and awe in Washington

In Washington, Junior Bush is shocked and awed that the crisis in Iraq is doing so much for the profit his old buds can skim off a barrel of oil. Was it really always just about the oil and, if so, was the plan to capture it when the last maimed body is bandaged, or simply to cash in during the battle?

Will Hillary defeat Obama? Will either defeat the next Republican actor? Does it really matter?

Moving from the tragedies of soap, we find a gang of want-to-be neo-con journalists trying to look courageous on Wolfville Watch; targeting all the progressives they can while not being quick to sign their names to their work. Come on, guys! Tough, nasty criticism is easy; it’s taking responsibility for it, looking your neighbours in the eye afterwards, that takes courage. Why not put your real name(s) prominently under each piece you write?

Meanwhile, at Acadia, they’re still trying to figure out how many non-teaching staffers making over $80,000 a year it takes to screw in a lightbulb.

Marx said famously that history repeats itself, first as tragedy, then as comedy.

Marx may have been mistaken. No one is laughing except Steven Harper, and he doesn’t even have a sense of humour.