Can I borrow the car?

Once your teens learn to drive, there’s no turning back. Your car is no longer your own. You may find unfamiliar coffee cups, towels, loose change, CDs and gum wrappers in your formerly clean car.

Of course, safety is first and foremost. A good driver’s education course is recommended, and the cost will come back to you in reduced insurance rates.

Since so many accidents involving youth are alcohol or speed-related, you can’t overemphasize the importance of not drinking and driving and keeping within the designated speed limits. Teens also need to know that not only drinking and driving is a no-no, but also drugs and driving.

Even if you sound like a broken record, keep reinforcing safe driving habits with your teen, including seatbelts for all passengers. Let your teen know that if for some reason they’re in a situation where they have been drinking, they should call home to make alternate arrangements.

You’ll notice a definite increase in your gas consumption once your teen takes over the wheel. If possible, arrange for your son or daughter to contribute to the gas fund. This will not only make the kids take more financial responsibility, but they may think twice about running the roads or chauffeuring friends around.

Sometimes the kids with access to a vehicle get stuck driving their friends here and there, which is both an unfair demand and expensive. By encouraging your teen to contribute to the gas expenses, he or she will probably be more conscientious about how many kilometers they drive in one night.

Keeping the vehicle clean and tidy is another expectation when kids share your car. It still is, after all, your car and, with any luck, you’ll still get to drive it on occasion. Kids should get into the habit of removing their personal possessions and emptying their garbage after every car usage.

Okay to say no

Keep your vehicle in good working order, especially if you’re sharing it with a teen. They may not be experienced enough to know that the oil needs to checked, the fluids needs to be topped up and the tires need adequate air, so take it upon yourself to maintain your vehicle regularly, which should be done anyway.

It’s okay to say no when your teen wants to use the car late at night or when the weather is inclement. With safety in mind, the last word should be yours. It’s also wise to make sure your son or daughter has a cell phone, either yours or their own, whenever they drive. That way, if they’re in a bind, run out of gas or need assistance, you’re only a phone call away.

For your peace of mind, have them call you when they reach their destination and again when they’re leaving to return home.

There are some perks to having your teens do their own driving. It saves you from having to leave home at 11 or 12 o’clock at night to pick them up , but it’s a mixed blessing.

It’s hard to relax or go to bed unless you know your teen has arrived safely home. That’s why curfews are so important.

It’s nice to be able to send your teen on an errand for you or to pick up a younger brother or sister, freeing you up to make dinner, but make sure your teen is a safe driver before allowing them to have passengers in the vehicle.

Include your teen in the maintenance of your car. Ask them to vacuum the inside or wash the outside from time to time. After all, if they have the privilege of borrowing your car, they may as well bear some of the responsibility that goes along with it.

Be a good role model when you’re driving; even if your teen took driver’s education, they will also learn from you. And, of course, they will have no hesitation in telling you everything you’re doing wrong.

“Mom, you didn’t come to a full stop at that stop sign”; or “Hey, you forgot to do a shoulder check.” Shoulder check? Like I said, it’s a mixed blessing.

Lila Hope-Simpson is the Director of the Home and Heart Nursery School in Wolfville