Stop the ride, he wants to get off

“Do the boys want to go to the exhibition?” dad asked me.

Best yet, it was going to be his treat.

Considering what it costs just to get a family through the gate and onto the rides, who was I to turn down this gift of generosity?

Justin, the youngest wanted to go. Jacob, the oldest, is going through a phase where things like exhibitions, parades, etc., aren’t cool.

So dad and Justin made a date.

But then came the problem. How would I put this tactfully? “Can you go on the rides?” I asked dad.

Sure he said, wondering why I was asking. “Well, your heart….” I mumbled.

What about it, he wanted to know. “You’re kind of old,” I said. Of course dad doesn’t see himself as old. And if my six-year-old could go on the rides, then they were going to be no match for a 60-something person.

So while I was at work last Wednesday, Justin went to the exhibition with his grandpére and grandmére.

Jacob, true to his word, stayed home.

By the end of the afternoon, I think that’s where dad was wishing he had stayed.

I don’t know what ride they went on, but according to dad’s description it went up, down and spun around, all at the same time.

All the while dad’s stomach was going up and down and his head was spinning round. Justin, on the other hand, chatted excitedly the whole time, mentioning how this was the best summer of his life.

For my dad, not so much this day.

To make matters worse the ride went on and on and on, or so it seemed to dad. Like Justin, the person who pushes the button, or pulls the lever, or does whatever you do to make the ride stop, was also deep in conversation. And he wasn’t pushing the button, or pulling the lever or doing whatever you need to do to make the ride stop, at least not fast enough for dad, who was screaming on the inside, “Stop the ride!!!”

And if his grandson hadn’t been sitting next to him he would have done so out loud, albeit in much more colourful language.

Eventually the torture came to an end. Dad was still alive and Justin picked out another ride for the two of them to go on. This one involved sitting inside a big teddy bear. How bad could that be?

Amazingly, pretty bad if you ask my dad.

That night Justin went back to the exhibition, but this time with his own father who enjoys the rides. Jacob and I stopped in for a visit at my parents’ house, where upon hearing my dad’s description of the rides, suddenly the exhibition didn’t seem so lame to my oldest son, who begged me to take him the next day.

I’ll say this about my dad, he didn’t raise no fool. The only ride I went on at the exhibition was the one in my van from our house to the Mariners Centre.