Love and marriage

BY CHRISTY MARSTERS

NovaNewsNow.com

When it comes to love and marriage, the old rules may no longer apply.

In fact, Dr. Guy Grenier, a relationships and sexuality expert, says people should understand that couples talk irrationally, go to bed angry, think about themselves and come to know that love won’t be enough without working through all the important conversations.

He presented these notions during a lecture at Acadia University Jan. 28 as he explained key points in his new book, The 10 Conversations You Must Have Before You Get Married (And How to Have Them). “The motivation for this book came mostly from my own frustrations and the high odds of relationship failure today,” Grenier said. “We don’t teach sex or relationships, which is profoundly dumb. These are things we live with everyday and we don’t teach them.”

Communication tools are needed to work through differences and determine the way long-term relationships will evolve, Grenier added. “After all, opposites may attract, but it’s birds of a feather who will stick together. People need love and similarity to succeed.”

And the list is…

The conversations couples need to reach a detailed agreement include: • kids • careers • money and financial styles • sex preferences • families • locations • divisions of labours • leisure times • and spiritualities.

The last conversation to be addressed involves identifying unique qualities in each other and in the specific relationship shared.

Individuals must identify personal preferences and note how these feelings match up to a potential partner, Grenier said. “There are some people who never should be married.”

The economics of relationships not working should be enough to want to train people on the subject, Grenier said. “Besides, why force people through the pain and heartache if you don’t have to when getting the right tools to talk about this issue is doable?”

There’s an intense desire to learn about sex and relationships, Grenier said. “However, people don’t tend to take the subjects seriously until they find themselves in trouble.”

It can’t be assumed things are just going to work, Grenier said. “You actually have to put a lot of real effort into making a relationship work out in the end.”

Cody Davison, 19, attended the lecture and says the seminar exceeded all his expectations and proved to be very convincing. “I think a workshop or course on relationships is something a lot of students would take,” Davison said. “There are enough problems with relationships. “

Grenier proved to be engaging and funny in his approach with the audience, Davison added. “I went over and bought his book after the speech. I can relate with this guy.”