When sweet dreams turn into nightmares

Children and parents alike sometimes have nightmares. It’s easier for adults to recognize nightmares for what they are and go back to sleep, but children have a harder time distinguishing between reality and dreams, both good and bad.

It’s normal for preschoolers to have fears, and sometimes those fears may manifest themselves into bad dreams, or nightmares. Most parents at some time have been awakened by their child’s crying or screaming as they awaken from a nightmare.

Some children may even have night terrors, where they don’t actually awaken fully and may not remember the event the next morning. They may cry, have difficulty breathing and appear terror-stricken.

Nightmares, on the other hand, are bad or scary dreams that the child usually remembers upon awakening. Often, they can describe the events in their dreams and can articulate how they felt.

So, what do you do? Start by offering a comforting and reassuring bedtime routine. Spend a little time with your child before they go to sleep. Talk about the day or read a pleasant bedtime story. Save the monster books for another time.

Reassure your child that he or she is safe and you are going to be right downstairs.

Make sure your child goes to the bathroom before bed, as a full bladder may interrupt sleep.

Supervise the television shows and movies that your child watches, as some fears may result from frightening shows or videos. If your child likes a favourite stuffed animal, blanket or toy in bed, allow them to sleep with it, as long as it’s safe, with no small parts or long strings.

Although nightmares and night terrors are a normal stage of childhood, it’s still distressing for both the child and the parents.

If you are awakened by your child at night following a bad dream, here are some tips for helping everyone get back to sleep: • Allow your child to tell you about the dream if he wants to, then remind and reassure him that it was not real, but a dream, and it didn’t really happen. • Encourage the child to remain in his or her own bed, even if it means that you might lie down beside her for a little while. Once you develop the habit of bringing your child into your bed for the night, it’s difficult to break. • Invite your child to get out of bed and go to the bathroom, making sure he has an empty bladder before returning to bed to ensure a better sleep. Maybe offer a small sip of water after that if he is thirsty. • Leave a night-light on in your child’s bedroom, so if she wakes up it’s not completely dark. • Hang a dream catcher in your child’s room, to “catch” bad dreams. • Reassure, hug, massage and kiss your child and remind him that you’re here and will protect him. • Suggest that your child tell himself that he’s going to have only good dreams now. Maybe help him think of nice, pleasant thoughts he can think about while he’s trying to fall asleep. • Sing a lullaby, or put a soft CD on to help your child fall asleep. • Rub a little “dream cream” (body lotion) for good dreams on your child’s tummy before bed.

Most of all, don’t panic. Your child needs you right now to remain calm and reassuring, feeling your strength and supporting him or her in finding their own inner strength. Good night!

Lila Hope-Simpson is the Director of the Home and Heart Nursery School in Wolfville