The spirited child

You know the child I mean: busy, active, racing from activity to activity, spontaneous, has little regard for consequences of actions, loud, excitable, enthusiastic, energetic, and did I say busy? You know the child. Maybe you have one.

It’s not easy raising or teaching a spirited child, but the rewards are immense if you stop long enough to appreciate them.

The spirited child is full of life and exuberance. This is a child who wants to see everything and do everything, and learns best through hands-on experiences. Try to provide an environment that is conducive to his learning style. Allow as many opportunities as possible for this child to learn through his senses: feeling, smelling, hearing, seeing and tasting.

If your child is active and energetic, help him tap into that energy appropriately through sports, playgrounds, walks and physical activities that provide an outlet for that need to be active. Through organized sports, not only will your child be active, but he will learn other valuable lessons and social skills like cooperation, team-building, sharing and waiting for his turn.

Whether it’s soccer or swimming lessons, get your child involved in physical activity from an early age. He will sleep better, eat better and it will help build his self-esteem and confidence level.

Keep learning space clear, simple

Active, busy children sometimes do best in an environment with fewer distractions than other kids. So if your spirited child is doing a puzzle or learning to write, remove all other stimulus from the table or desk so the task at hand is the only activity in front of the child.

Sounds from a radio or television in the next room can also be distracting, so remember the five senses and try to keep the learning space simple and clear.

Directions and instructions should also be clear and straightforward. Your spirited child may not listen to a long lecture about how to do things. So if you want to teach your child to set the table, for example, break the large task into several smaller ones and teach a task at a time. This task analysis, or breaking activities into smaller, more manageable pieces, is more satisfying and offers better grounds for success.

If you’re teaching or coaching a group of children, encourage the spirited child to sit close to the front, where there will be fewer distractions, and offer eye contact and short, frequent interactions to keep him on track.

Sometimes a simple look or raised finger can remind the child to focus on the task at hand and listen.

Offer positive reinforcement

Offer plenty of positive reinforcement and try to manipulate the environment so the child succeeds, but at the same time set limits that can be achieved. In my nursery school, for example, we encourage all children to finish a task or activity that they start.

For a child with a shorter attention span or with limited concentration skills, this may mean supervising the task before it even begins, so the child is working within his means.

Help him select a puzzle or game that’s manageable then insist that it’s completed before he moves on to the next one. This may mean being there to offer help and support as needed.

Most kids thrive on one-on-one experiences with their parents or teachers and they love the attention, so be there. Be the cheering committee. Be the fan club. Be the support system this child needs to succeed.

The spirited child is often an affectionate, loving child who is intelligent and has the potential to do very well in school. All he needs is the right ingredients: the individual attention, the limits and guidelines that he may not be able to create for himself, an uncluttered, organized space and a suitable outlet for all that energy.

The qualities that contribute to a spirited child are often the same ones that make for a successful adult. If you’re the parent or caregiver of such a child, get plenty of rest yourself because you’ll need it. Offer your child a healthy diet, lots of exercise, genuine encouragement, social interactions and plenty of hugs. In return, you will get so much back.

Lila Hope-Simpson is the Director of the Home and Heart Nursery School in Wolfville