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Valentine’s Day not all wine and roses



Published on Febuary 10th, 2008
Published on January 30th, 2010
Fred Sgambati/The RSS Feed

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Only a couple more days to Valentine’s and I’m sitting here wondering how I got into this mess.

Do I go for a card or chocolates? Bouquet of flowers or a single rose? Swanky supper out or romantic and private picnic for two?

I’ll tell you, it’s tough. All the data suggests Valentine’s Day is about the girls, but the fact is there’s a ton of pressure on guys everywhere to come up with something. If you sense an implied ‘or else’ in there, take note: you didn’t hear it from me, okay? That would be presumptuous (and wildly dangerous!).

Fact is, men and women are alike in that everyone appreciates some attention and really, when it comes right down to it, this is what Valentine’s Day is all about. Taking the time to say what you mean and showing your affection in an obvious and overt manner.

Indeed, what you do for your honey could be a barometer of just how much you care. Or so people say, anyway.

Valentine’s also breaks up the winter, injects some spark into an otherwise monochromatic time of year and forces (for lack of a better word) members of either sex to get creative. Restaurants are booked, flowers are purchased, chocolates are wrapped, marriage proposals abound, love holds sway. It’s dizzying, invigorating and very nearly too much.

As I get older I feel a need to rein things in, not go quite so overboard as perhaps I once did and embrace the sentiment more than the hype.

As usual these days, I look to the kids and discover truth. Our daughter has been busy doing Valentine’s Day cards for her schoolmates. She signs each one personally, inscribing best wishes in capital letters that conclude with either an XXO or XOX(heart). It’s simple, unadulterated and so genuine it’s soulful.

She’s a powerful advocate of the KISS philosophy (Keep It Simple Stupid) even though she has no idea it exists. To her mind, a handmade card with a heartfelt message trumps everything else, and who can argue with that? Especially when the card is hand-delivered and sealed with a big hug.

It’s vital to foster such emotion, so if you have someone special, take my advice. Don’t let Feb. 14 to slip away without at least acknowledging his or her importance in your life. The accumulated effect of marketing has created a social complex that’s darn near undeniable, but keep in mind that you don’t have to go nuts. A small thing can mean a lot.

Thus, despite an admitted ambivalence as to method, I do have a little something planned that will fill the bill. It’s outside the box and eschews wine and roses, but I think it’ll say ‘I’ll love you’ quite nicely and leave me with 364 days to ponder what to do for Valentine’s Day next year.

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